An Exercise in Helplessness

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I am doing an exercise in helplessness:

I am no longer responding to your distress.

I do this because I am barely weaned from teat

I’m weak and wobbly, I’ve means for myself only

You can’t rest easy on me; I’m a doll-sized seat.

The drowning pull people under to gasp more air

The hungry feast on flesh from those who try to share.

You lack and I’m too human to change hands of fate

I’d spare you, but the cost! Pay and I too am lost.

Tummy aches when I’m full and unsure if you ate.

I’m doing okay for myself in general,

Which is a paltry gift brought to your funeral.

It makes me flush but it’s all that fit my budget

Giving token doesn’t make me less heartbroken

I love you so, I won’t make you share your casket.

That’s what you’d need do if I let myself turn poor

Though I can’t help you survive, won’t burden you more

I’m resigned to being fine sans room for largesse.

I’m paid and just as soon besieged with cries for aid

I could empty myself but you wouldn’t need less.

Nothing’s without price, even wishing you the best

Exercising limits, I put “no” to the test

The guilt I feel when I refuse you help, it stings

But tears for you don’t come free: they cost empathy

And small pockets make me tighten purse and heartstrings.

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